wallowing

It is an odd thing to look at one's own action of wallowing in thier own self pitty with an objective point of view. And slightly disturbing if mi might say so myself, and i may say that as this is my blog, and, well, i can say any blasted thing i please.

Anyways, back to the self pitty wallowing (i doubt im even spelling it correctly). why do we do it? why does wallowing feel so satisfying, so......fulfilling, and empty and shallow and selfish, all at the same time? i try and look at myself from an objective view to get a handle on whatever wallowing or reason for such action has struck me, but you know what? it is not an easy thing to do to logically dispell ones want to wallow in his own misery.

In truth i have very little to wallow about, God has blessed me greatly in all areas of my life. Today for instance i was able to work on 3 project for clients for my freelance business that i only started all of 2-3 months ago (granted one was pro-bono, but still....), i talked to the Vice-President and Co-Founder of Walden Media on behalf of the CS Lewis Festival (for a 24 yr old comic book geek, art junkie; this is not normal), i shot comedic video for a church im helping out with, i was able to attend a pre wedding party for a couple of new friends celebrating their upcoming nuptuals with many new friends from this church plant, and an excellent Bible Study followed by a great episode of the office.....and all of this on my day off!!!

What on earth do i have to complain about!?!??!?! As humans it is egregiously easy for us to find the negative in life, and i hate that about myself. it is a detestable habit i fall back into all too often. and instead of running full speed to the One who will "cure" me of this wretched habit i just sit and wallow thining how my life could be better and why its not what i imagined it would be, and all this crap that is absolutely not true, nor logical in any shape or fashion. Unfortuntaly my head and my heart rarely agree on any one thing.

Ahhhhh, the wonders of the mortal being eh?

well, off to drop this wallowing and trade it for a bit of unconsciousness while i recharge for another day of design work.

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